12 Apr Long Story Short: My Postpartum Journey
Phewf! I feel like it has been so long since I have actively put something on my blog. I feel like the last few years have been whirlwind. Facebook has been the only platform I have been remotely present on. Since having my daughter in 2016 I ghosted this account. In fact every year the membership came up, I completely considered discontinuing this website but for some reason a little something told me to hang on. I shared my story on Facebook LIVE a few years ago, and thought I would give you the low down here hoping you will reconnect with me.
If you are a parent then you know that parenting is hard. It is REALLY hard. It isn’t something anyone can explain to you until you are smack dab in the middle of it. Let me be clear, it isn’t ALL hard, and many adjust to life after children differently. I just happened to be one of the chosen ones that seemed to have a hard time after having my second baby. After having my daughter I struggled with many many overwhelming emotions and feelings. It didn’t help that she was colic and we tried EVERYTHING including chiropractor and finally someone said she would just grow out of it and she did. I put off these overwhelming feelings for a long time, thinking it was my age – too old for having children. I questioned adding a second child – I wasn’t able to juggle it all. Honestly, I wanted to run away from my life, run away from my home and just take a few weeks off – all alone. I didn’t want to stay away, I just needed a time out. Each day was not a fresh start – it was dreaded. Each evening was scary and filled with anxiety. Would I be able to sleep tonight? How many times would I have to get up? These feelings of wanting to run away got to the point that I knew these feelings were not normal feelings – I have a good home, a loving husband and two adorable children. There was legit no reason to feel this way. It wasn’t until a friend told me her struggles that I realized what was happening to me. She encouraged me to seek help and I did. Luckily I had some really good supports through my family doctor and through counselling. I realized I wasn’t alone and the feelings I was having were normal and I would get through them… and I did.
While I am past the infant/newborn stage, past medication and therapy, I continue to struggle daily with the invisible workload of a mother and I am forever working on ways to do better and be better. I exercise daily, I eat whole foods (yes, treats too!), I drink my daily allotment of water, I get my minimum of 8 hours sleep, I practice gratitude, prayer and a TON of personal development.
I hope you’ll be willing to have me continue to share my journey with you here. I am beyond grateful to have found the at home fitness community 6 years ago because thanks to them I have a group of amazing women who support me and keep me accountable to some very practical things like moving my body daily to keep me as level as I can be in any given moment. Thank you always for your support. I am happy to be back. xo